How To Plan To Stay Married
Can you remember the day when you 1st decided to get married?
Well, I can remember mines very clearly! It was like running a marathon up until the day I said I do. I searched and searched for information about marriage all the time from that moment on. However, I did not have a plan. Did you have a plan for marriage? I never really had a plan for my marriage. I just planned for the day of my marriage. This was one of the most biggest mistakes I could have ever made. I needed some help! I did not have a clue what to expect or what to do.
Although I did not have a plan, one of my biggest resources was my faith in God. I have to be truly honest with you, that was my source and it worked for me. What was your source? What was that one thing that you breathe day and night to help you pull it all together? You have to remember that what worked for you then will work for you now after marriage. So I must say, the ideal thing to do is to get back to the basics and go back to what worked for you in the beginning, this is the first step.
In order to get back to the basics, you have to consider the vision you have for your marriage. It's simple, just consider what things you want to accomplish over the life of your marriage and then define what it will take for you to accomplish your dreams. You may want to consider reading this report to help get you clear on what creates success in marriage, the psychology of a great marriage. Of course, you must have a strategic plan of action and implement that plan to get you there, but let's talk about your vision first.
Your vision is the second step to planning to stay married. I recall scripture tells us, that without a vision you will perish. I found that to be very true. It's like waking up every morning and not having any idea about how you want your day to be like. You placed no intention in your day, so you have nothing to lay your focus upon and then you find yourself upset when you don't accomplish your goals. This will happen the same in your marriage.
Once you have put on that fancy gown, you jumped the broom, he has kissed his bride and days have gone by and you find yourself waking up a few times next to your man and wonder what's next. What's the next exciting thing the two of you will do together? Or, maybe you will wait until the next year for that one year anniversary and celebrate a year in the making. Is that all you plan to look forward to? What about those trials you will face, what is the right thing you should consider for your marriage? Well to be 100% honest, I did this very thing and it was a hot mess. I mean, I had no idea what to expect. I just knew I wanted to be married. I did not know that it took all of this work. I did not learn this in the beginning, that if I had no plan for the future, no big vision, then my marriage could fail. It was only until I started experiencing failure in my marriage, that's when I established my vision and tried to design a plan for success for my future real quick. I did not want to see myself failing at marriage.
I started having conversations with other married people, people who had failed at marriage because I found that I could learn some valuable information about the mistakes they made and the lessons they learned, people who were still married and struggling....learned some valuable lessons about what it takes to make a struggling marriage prosper, people who appeared to have a good marriage....learned their secrets and what was working for them, talking with my pastor, attending workshops and reading books about marriage and relationships, I did all these things to help me in my marriage, because I wanted to succeed and have the perfect marriage. One thing that I discovered was that there is no perfect marriage, no perfect relationship, no perfect couple. You only can perfect your marriage and your relationship by working in your marriage daily. I must repeat this, remember nothing is perfect, but you can perfect your relationship and marriage by working at making it better one day at a time, but it will never be perfect.
One of the most interesting conversations that I had was with the elderly couples. They would encourage me and tell me that it takes hard work and persistence, never give up. They also told me that it takes patience and a lot of forgiveness and boy..... they were right on with that. I realized that if I wanted to be married then I had to plan to be in my marriage and be willing to acknowledge that my family was my priority and nothing should come between that. There needed to be some healthy boundaries established to protect my marriage.
When you create a vision for your marriage, it is like setting intention for not only your relationship, but your life as well. Life and relationships work hand in hand with one another. You must not ever forget that. Whatever you allow to become the god of your life whether good or bad, will bleed over into your relationship. You marriage will be affected by that very thing. If you put too much time into tv, work, friends and not enough time working in your marriage, then your marriage will suffer.
I must point out that you have to work in your marriage, not on your marriage, but in. If you are not willing to get your hands dirty, then you will lose the connection with your partner and you will not win at marriage. You can't be side track by your positions and titles as an employee or business owner and let those things become priority over your marriage. You have to put intentional efforts into your marriage no matter what positions and responsibilities you have in life. You are not separate from your relationship, you are the relationship. So, let's start planning to stay married by setting intention, this is the third step in planning to stay married.
While you are in the process of planning, your intentions may be good, remember to be on the alert because there are going to be times in your marriage when you are going to go through challenges and it may appear that you are far from reaching your goals. This is the time when you must stick to your plan more than ever and focus on your vision.
Your actions will sometimes be a little off because you may become distracted, stressed or overwhelmed, but you must quickly accept the challenges, forgive yourself and your partner, let go of any resistance and keep moving forward. If you don't stay focused you will be delayed from succeeding and may find excuses, that will keep you stuck. The big tip, is that you must up your communication game here. A lot of couples get stuck here, they failed to communicate properly. You have to talk things through that's part of the plan. Of course, you may feel like you are doing everything right, but every relationship has its blind spots and that's why it's good to bring in support. Counseling is always good and should be included in your marriage plan, but if you don't know what all things should be included in your plan then you just might fail at marriage, so don't shy away from getting help with your planning it's never too late to start now.
Check out the psychology of a great marriage, it will help you really gain some insights about the things you should consider when you do your planning. Lastly, know your purpose. This is the fourth key to planning to stay married. Know your why, why did you get married, why do you want to be married, why do you want to stay married? Your why must be big enough to keep you motivated and you should be attached at the hip to your why. This is how you plan to stay married.
"A great marriage always starts with a great vision"
If you fail to properly plan your life out with your partner, then you have planned to fail in your relationship. It is predestined to happen, those without a vision will perish. Again I must say, I know this all so well because my marriage failed and I had to start over again. I lived my life afraid and sometimes I felt like I was all in my marriage by myself, because I did not begin with the end in mind, which was my vision and I had no plan to follow. We had no direction, no structure, no guidance for when we were faced with challenges, when we needed to make decisions or when it was time to make changes in our lives. If I had known the vision for my life and relationship, then I would have known what was necessary to get us focused in the right direction.
You see by having no vision you don't know what to focus on, you don't know how to protect your marriage. You don't have any boundaries! Know your limits, know what opportunities you can create for yourself when you have a solid plan to follow that keeps you on track and focus. The key is knowing what's the goal, keep focus and you can only establish this by having a plan for your marriage.
Let nothing and no one separate you from your dreams because if you do you might just miss out on them. Let me do a recap on the four keys points you need in order to plan to stay married.
Here are the four Keys on how to plan to stay married:
Get back to the basics by going back to what worked for you in the beginning, connecting back to your source
Define your vision for your marriage
Know your purpose
Now that you have the four keys, you can better design the kind of marriage that you want. You know the desires that you have and by knowing what you want you can create what you want in your life, it is your choice. You are the only person that has the power to decide what's best for you. Get your copy now, of the psychology of a great marriage this will provide you with some valuable information to help you create the marriage of your dreams.